At some point in our lives, we all face moments where our efforts don’t yield the outcomes we so deeply desired. Maybe you poured yourself into a career, invested your heart into a relationship, dreamed of a specific outcome in pregnancy, or even hoped for change in a cultural or political sphere. Despite our best efforts and intentions, sometimes, things simply don’t go our way.
When life unfolds this way, we’re left with two options: to resist what is or to accept the reality in front of us. Acceptance, however, doesn’t mean suppressing our pain; it means acknowledging the loss of our envisioned outcome and allowing ourselves to feel grief. Grieving what "could have been" helps us honor our efforts, dreams, and hopes rather than bury them away.
The Stages of Grief: Honoring What Was and What Could Have Been
Grieving a loss isn’t limited to losing a person. We can grieve for lost dreams, broken expectations, or dashed hopes. This process often includes denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and, ultimately, acceptance. While these stages might not occur in a strict order, they provide a framework to understand our emotional journey. Acknowledging these feelings rather than bypassing them is essential; grief has a powerful role in healing.
Herbal Allies for Processing Grief and Easing Emotional Pain
While grief is natural, it doesn’t mean we must shoulder it alone. In traditional herbal practices, there are plants specifically known for their heart-soothing, mood-lifting, and calming effects. These herbs can support us through each stage of grief, offering gentle aid as we work through difficult emotions.
Hawthorn – Often regarded as a heart tonic, hawthorn has long been used to mend both physical and emotional heartache. Its gentle properties support the heart’s strength, helping to ease feelings of sorrow and loneliness, and promoting a sense of openness and resilience.
St. John’s Wort – Known as a “sunshine herb,” St. John’s Wort has been used to lift low spirits and provide support in times of sadness and disappointment. It’s especially helpful when we feel weighed down by emotional burdens and need gentle encouragement to find the light again.
Lemon Balm – This calming, uplifting herb is beneficial for soothing frayed nerves and restoring a sense of balance during turbulent times. Lemon balm gently invites us to release tension and invites calm reflection, making it a wonderful ally in the grieving process.
Skullcap – Skullcap is a nervine that’s especially supportive during the early stages of grief when the shock and sadness feel raw. It helps us find peace and calm, allowing us to rest and process our emotions without feeling overwhelmed.
Incorporating these herbs into daily life—whether as teas, tinctures, or even in baths—creates a steady foundation of support, helping us move through our emotions without feeling alone in the process.
Qigong and Grief: Moving Through Emotional Energy
In addition to herbs, the gentle movement practice of Qigong can be a powerful way to process grief. Qigong is an ancient Chinese practice that combines gentle movements, breathwork, and meditation to cultivate life energy, or Qi, in the body. When grief feels heavy and overwhelming, Qigong can help us move that stagnant energy, bringing a sense of release and renewal.
One powerful Qigong exercise for grief is known as Pulling Down the Heavens. This exercise involves a series of calming, downward movements that allow us to release tension and restore balance.
Pulling Down the Heavens
Begin by standing with your feet shoulder-width apart, knees slightly bent, and arms relaxed at your sides.
As you inhale, raise your arms out to the sides and up above your head, as though you’re gathering energy from the sky.
Exhale slowly and gently lower your hands down in front of you, as if you’re guiding energy down toward the earth.
Repeat this movement several times, moving slowly with your breath. With each exhale, imagine releasing any tension or sadness, grounding it through your feet into the earth.
As you finish, take a few quiet moments to feel the calm and centered energy within you.
Practicing Pulling Down the Heavens daily, or whenever grief feels heavy, helps ground and calm the heart. It’s a way of connecting to something larger than yourself, reminding you that even difficult emotions are part of a broader flow.
Inviting Support and Moving Forward
If you’re journeying through grief, consider reaching for our Joyful Journey Mood Support Tincture*, specifically crafted with heart-centered herbs to support emotional balance and lift the spirit. This blend combines herbs like hawthorn, lemon balm, and other nurturing allies to help lighten emotional burdens.
You’re also invited to join us for a Qigong session, where we’ll flow through exercises that guide us in releasing grief, grounding ourselves, and creating space for new hope to grow.
Grieving can be a long and difficult process, but with the right tools, it can also be profoundly transformative. By honoring our grief, moving through our emotions, and leaning into the support of herbs and Qigong, we find the strength to release what no longer serves us and the wisdom to embrace what does. Remember, grief is not something to bypass but to embrace as part of your healing journey. In doing so, you create a path to joy that honors both your hopes and the resilience within you.
Hugs and deep bows of honor and grace to you, my friend, as you navigate this time of grief. I sincerely hope this supports your journey.
Maria
🙏🏽
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